In 1975 I was in Norm White鈥檚 class听Motivation & Emotion II. In the small group meeting, we debated the then hot topic of whether one saw the bear, were frightened, and then ran, or whether one saw the bear, ran and then were frightened. I noticed a tall thin man with wide 鈥淚sro鈥 hair and a beard. He looked not unlike a large deciduous tree. We were arguing on the same side, and he gave me a beautiful smile, his almond eyes crinkling whenever we made good points. 听
After听class,听we introduced ourselves 鈥淒ave.鈥 He听said. 鈥淧erle,鈥 I replied.听After that, we went for burgers at the听Student听Union. 鈥淪ometimes,听I am just into grease,鈥 I told him.听
We were approached听on our way out听by the听Lubavitch听missionaries. 鈥淎re you Jewish?鈥 a young man asked听Dave. 鈥淒id you put on听Tefillin听today?鈥听
鈥淣o,听and I don鈥檛 need to,鈥 said Dave,听and we walked away. Surprisingly the young man followed us.听听
鈥淲hat do you mean?鈥 He asked, indignant. Dave began to sputter and听tried to听explain why he did not participate in Jewish daily prayer rituals from a sociological and psychological point of view. I started quoting scripture to support Dave鈥檚 argument.听Our eyes met over the head of this earnest and frustrated youngster.听
This was the beginning of our romance. It was very hot and heavy, but Dave was so easy to love. My parents and all my friends really liked him too. He slipped seamlessly into our little gang. We would stay up until the small hours of the morning discussing truth, beauty and psychology. Sometimes we would order midnight pizzas from Pines or Peach Melba from Milton Sweets. Even Norm White commented on our relationship, as we continued to argue on the same side of issues.
David Glaser and Perle Feldman (courtesy Perle Feldman)
Since Dave was a visiting student, he returned to Philadelphia to do his senior year at Haverford College. I personally kept Bell Telephone in business that year with my many long-distance calls to Philly. For Canadian Thanksgiving, I visited him down in Philadelphia. There we had a massive fight about life and values, boundaries, and who we wanted to be. Ten days later, when he came up for his fall reading week, I was worried that he was there to break up with me. That evening, snuggling on his bed in the basement of my parent鈥檚 house, he took me in his arms and said: 鈥淟et鈥檚 stop kidding ourselves鈥︹ Oh no, here it comes, I thought, he鈥檚 breaking up with me. 鈥淲e are going to end up married.鈥 I was so relieved that time and distance and asserting my needs had not broken up this relationship that I agreed in an offhand way to what seemed to be a statement of principle, 鈥淵es, I guess we will.鈥听
Two days later, we were walking across the reservoir on our way to a lecture听given听by Brenda听Milner at the Neuro. Dave was smiling to himself as he kept pace with me.听He听has always matched his stride to mine, despite our thirteen-inch difference in height; ever since听the time听I told him that I hated trotting to keep up with him as he loped along.听听
鈥淲hat are you thinking?鈥 I asked him.听
鈥淚听think听that you have every quality that I ever wanted in a wife.鈥 He squeezed my hand.听
鈥淥h, is that a proposal?鈥 I asked.听
鈥淲here were you the other day when I proposed?鈥 he shot back.听Then, realizing that his previous statement had not been theoretical, we became听equally engaged. We continued on to the听Hughling听Jackson auditorium, past the statue of Nature Revealing Herself before Science and the Neurons on the ceiling.听Finally, we climbed the vertiginously raked stairs of the听hall听where our friends had saved听us seats. Brenda Milner gave a brilliant lecture on the hippocampus,听but I am afraid that I do not听remember it much.听What听I do remember听is听how happy I was.听听
The Feldman-Glaser family (courtesy Perle Feldman)
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This story was submitted as part of the Faculty of Medicine and Health Science's , as part of the 平特五不中 Bicentennial celebrations.